Like every Sunday, my mother comes in clenched with a copy of The Sunday Times, slamming the door behind her and complaining about the rubbish British Weather.
I shake my head, and bury my furrows into my essay due in for tomorrow. To what extent will the interest rate policy solve an inflation problem? Hmm. Well it obviously isn't working now; My sister and I stayed in London for a couple days as she had an interview with HSBC, in Canary Wharf. Lucky bugger. As I waved her goodbye, imagine my embarrasment asking 'table for one, please.' It even entertained the waiter. I'm freaking 17, hardly near a midlife crisis. Anyway, after having my one sad lonely gingerbeer and prentending to be busy writing useless notes, the bill was a ridicuolous £4.25. That's inflation for you - stupid MPC.
Each member of the family is drawn to their own special supplement-mine being Style. But this time, something else caught my eye. I usually flip through the Sunday Times Magazine, perhaps reading a few by-lines and stand-firsts. But this time, an article caught my eye. Maily because it was on the front cover, but the image- front cover, image, same thing-was a traditional 60s image of a nicely brushed up dark man, just about to slice some chunky airbrushed ham. And no, the ham didn't really look that nice. However, the caption of the supposed advertisement, was 'The best ham you've ever taste... or your money back!' Er, woah. Slow down. The best ham ever? That's some statement. Matt Rudd outs the promises of advertising to the test. My eyes skim over the words of promises, advertising and test. Interesting.
The article was a 4 page spread written by this absolute genius of the name Matthew Rudd. The article was filled with letters and replies complaining about products not satisfying enough for Mr Rudd here.
'I just wanted to congratulate you on your extremely ingenious sidestep that leaves me unrefunded'
'They taste like sweet cardboard and I shall be sticking to my usual breakfast of french toast with maple syrup and bacon henceforth'
'They taste nothing like any cheese I have ever eaten...and I've lived in France for 6 months'
Currently trying to stalk him, so will report back to base soon as.
